- Things You Think Only You Do

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

not be afraid of hurricane sandy

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.