Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Ur mum

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Courtesy flush.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

I rehearse arguments in my head.

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.