Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Courtesy flush.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.