Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.