I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Courtesy flush.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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i masturbate with my feet

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.