(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Ur mum

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Courtesy flush.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Only use the left earphone.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.