My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Pretend my life is a videogame.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.