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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.
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-66
When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.
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-68
rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.
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-68
Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.
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-72
After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.
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-74
Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.
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-78
Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)
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-80
I gotta get down of Friday
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-82
When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.
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-82
I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.
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-88
I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava
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-108
laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.
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-108
Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.
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+57
Run faster down hotel corridors.
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+47
When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.
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+43
I sleep in my underpants every single night
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+25
Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.
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+19
When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up
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+17
When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.
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+7
When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.
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+7
Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.
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+7
When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.
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+5
browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter
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+3
I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.
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-1
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.