- Things You Think Only You Do

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

I read the down voted posts

I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.