Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.