- Things You Think Only You Do

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.