when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.