When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Ur mum

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.