stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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I was the real Stig...

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.