use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.