When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

thumb_up thumb_down -37

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I think Frozen is an overrated film

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

thumb_up thumb_down -45

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

thumb_up thumb_down -45

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Courtesy flush.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.