Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I gotta get down of Friday

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.