I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

I gotta get down of Friday

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

Put my hands together the 'other' way

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

Use my phone to see what time it is

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.