Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.