I mean Diana Ross.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.