- Things You Think Only You Do

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.