Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Do somthing only you do

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Sometimes I toot.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.