When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.