Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

make south park refferences every day

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.