- Things You Think Only You Do

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

Sitting down in the shower

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.