Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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make south park refferences every day

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.