If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Sometimes I toot.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.