At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Sitting down in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -62

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

thumb_up thumb_down -72

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.