- Things You Think Only You Do

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

Stab myself on a daily basis

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

I chew my ice cream.

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.