- Things You Think Only You Do

I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

the power to regenerate your appendix

When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.