Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I have a phobia of incest

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.