Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.