I hit the frig after sex

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.