Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

the power to regenerate your appendix

I don't read the terms of service.

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

test how many stares you can scale in one step

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.