- Things You Think Only You Do

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Courtesy flush.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

Only use the left earphone.

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.