shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.