the power to regenerate your appendix

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Ur mum

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Courtesy flush.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.