- Things You Think Only You Do

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Believing in the kindness of strangers

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.