I gotta get down of Friday

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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I hit the frig after sex

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.