We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

thumb_up thumb_down -23

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I can only play a piano with my right hand

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Justin Beiber is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I don't read the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

thumb_up thumb_down -41

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Smoking in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.