Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Only use the left earphone.

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.