Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Courtesy flush.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.