When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Be a loner at school

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.