I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I have a phobia of incest

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.