- Things You Think Only You Do

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.