after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.