- Things You Think Only You Do

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.