- Things You Think Only You Do

only read the short jokes on this website

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

test how many stares you can scale in one step

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.