only read the short jokes on this website

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.