Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

thumb_up thumb_down -72

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

thumb_up thumb_down -74

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

thumb_up thumb_down -76

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Go for a 10 mile run.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

thumb_up thumb_down +39

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +11

get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.