- Things You Think Only You Do

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.