Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

the power to regenerate your appendix

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

Smoking in the shower.

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

Sitting down in the shower

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.