Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Smoking in the shower.

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.