trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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I have a phobia of incest

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.