only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -41

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

thumb_up thumb_down -45

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.