Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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Smoking in the shower.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Sitting down in the shower

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.