Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Sitting down in the shower

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.