- Things You Think Only You Do

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

I rehearse arguments in my head.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

I have autofocus in my eyes.

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

Put my hands together the 'other' way

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.