Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

thumb_up thumb_down -45

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

thumb_up thumb_down -51

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

thumb_up thumb_down -51

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

thumb_up thumb_down -69

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -109

I have a phobia of incest

thumb_up thumb_down -127

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.