When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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i masturbate with my feet

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.