Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.