(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Make up a song to yourself.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.