I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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fap

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.