Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.