I **** with no hands.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.