If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.