Thinking your life is a movie...

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

thumb_up thumb_down -66

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -108

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.