i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Smoking in the shower.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.