Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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I hit the frig after sex

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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Sometimes I toot.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.