Thinking your life is a movie...

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

try to give your friends spirit animals

thumb_up thumb_down -64

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -66

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -80

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

thumb_up thumb_down -82

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Put my hands together the 'other' way

thumb_up thumb_down -94

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

thumb_up thumb_down -126

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.