Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.