For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Sitting down in the shower

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.