Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.