- Things You Think Only You Do

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.