i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

test how many stares you can scale in one step

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.