Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.