- Things You Think Only You Do

Sitting down in the shower

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! end of special message just for you

i masturbate with my feet

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

try to give your friends spirit animals

Thinking your life is a movie...

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.