Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.