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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.
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-22
I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...
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-24
Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.
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-24
Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.
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-26
I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family
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-26
Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.
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-28
Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.
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-28
Justin Beiber is a woman
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-28
I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer
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-28
When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.
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-32
I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.
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-34
After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.
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-36
Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.
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-36
When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.
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-36
I lift my butt when I'm farting
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-38
Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts
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-38
That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking
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-38
When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.
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-38
Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.
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-38
Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.
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-42
Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <
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-42
I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.
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-44
Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake
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-50
try and open the microwave right before it finishes.
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-50
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.