- Things You Think Only You Do

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.