if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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only read the short jokes on this website

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.