I **** with no hands.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I was the real Stig...

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.