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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

Put my hands together the 'other' way

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

I scratch and sniff.

right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.