When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Picking my nose.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I have a phobia of incest

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.