Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Sitting down in the shower

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.