Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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I scratch and sniff.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.