Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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I was the real Stig...

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.