Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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I chew my ice cream.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.