When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Smoking in the shower.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.