i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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I scratch and sniff.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.