I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Always cover yourself in the bathroom mirror at home because you have this strange feeling that people at school are all watching you through your mirror~pls tell me im not the only one who ever feels this~oh well

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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I cant ride a bike

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.