Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Courtesy flush.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.