When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

Make up a song to yourself.

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.