When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.