When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

I wonder if elections are rigged?

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.