Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.