Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.