I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.