poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.