I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Only use the left earphone.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.