- Things You Think Only You Do

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

only read the short jokes on this website

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.