Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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I **** with no hands.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.