Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down -5

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

thumb_up thumb_down -9

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

thumb_up thumb_down -13

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.