I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

I cant ride a bike

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.