- Things You Think Only You Do

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

I hold my breath in elevators

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.