I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

I used to eat bath bubbles

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

I lift my butt when I'm farting

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

test how many stares you can scale in one step

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.