Justin Beiber is a woman

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

I lift my butt when I'm farting

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.