when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.