.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

the power to regenerate your appendix

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.