When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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I always think I have special powers

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.