Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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fap

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.