I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I hold my breath in elevators

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

thumb_up thumb_down -42

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I rehearse arguments in my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.