I hold my breath in elevators

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.