Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I hold my breath in elevators

thumb_up thumb_down -28

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

thumb_up thumb_down -38

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

thumb_up thumb_down -38

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I lift my butt when I'm farting

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -42

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.