Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -79

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -83

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -91

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

thumb_up thumb_down -131

Make up a song to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -159

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

thumb_up thumb_down +14

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.