Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.