When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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i masturbate with my feet

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Sitting down in the shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.