I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

thumb_up thumb_down +44

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

thumb_up thumb_down -34

After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.