(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

fap

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

Believing in the kindness of strangers

Sitting down in the shower

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

Thinking your life is a movie...

I have autofocus in my eyes.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.