- Things You Think Only You Do

When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

Justin Beiber is a woman

Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.