trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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fap

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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Picking my nose.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Sitting down in the shower

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.