I can't piss with my shoes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

thumb_up thumb_down +40

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Try stick to something but fail in the end

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I think about other women when having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

thumb_up thumb_down -52

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.