Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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wipe the bottle lid before i drink because i dont whant to taste what the other person had in there mouth...

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I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

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i use my thumb when using a DS instead of using the stylus

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

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Think about things I should be doing with my life.

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Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

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I pee in the shower.

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Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

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Wrap up inside a sleeping bag and slide down the steps.

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Suck up stuff with the vacuum you know you shouldn't because your too lazy to pick it up.

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

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Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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Throw mini celabration of clock says 11:11, 9:11 or anything ending in :00

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.