Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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Tried to stuff yourself in the fridge

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tries to beat the search from loading the results before Im done typing my search when using youtube for xbox 360

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I sleep in the nude.

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if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

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I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.

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When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

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Having a dream where I am in a sex Ed class and instead of looking at slides experiencing everything firsthand

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misread flashlight

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

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Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

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When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

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If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

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Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

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Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

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Say you're not hungry at a friend's house when his/her parents offer you food, even though you're starving

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Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.