Having a dream where I am in a sex Ed class and instead of looking at slides experiencing everything firsthand

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im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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Forgets something then walks into the room to get it then forgets what you forgot nikki

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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Tried to stuff yourself in the fridge

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Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

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When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

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Suck up stuff with the vacuum you know you shouldn't because your too lazy to pick it up.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

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Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

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Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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Somehow can't find anything good to eat after going grocery shopping... even if you buy Oreos

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misread flashlight

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If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

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Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.