When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Having a dream where I am in a sex Ed class and instead of looking at slides experiencing everything firsthand

thumb_up thumb_down -86

im going to rape that girl

thumb_up thumb_down -106

losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

I sleep in the nude.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Waking up from a really bad dream that you thought was real and then thinking about it all day worried that it actually happened

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -146

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??

thumb_up thumb_down -52

misread flashlight

thumb_up thumb_down +63

When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -27

im going to RAPEEEE that girl

thumb_up thumb_down -147

Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Get my belt loop caught on the door handle,

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.