When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

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When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

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put my headphones in but don't listen to any music so people don't bother me.

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When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

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Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

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I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

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Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

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At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.

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in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

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Think I'm going to fall down when I step onto an esculator that's not moving.

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Any time I shop for used clothes, I always have to ask, “Did anybody die in this?” –Ikka

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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Playing TV in bed because if I don't I jump at every noise in the house and don't sleep.

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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Think that the shirts and bras that the girl you like should have never ben invented for that one specific person

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When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.