- Things You Think Only You Do

you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

Think about when im old and im dying and under what circumstances,and think will i remember this day when i thought of it and think,shit that was fast,almost like sending myself a message to the future...if that makes any sense lol

Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

Start browsing a list of pics at the back, so I can see the order they were posted.

trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

tries to beat the search from loading the results before Im done typing my search when using youtube for xbox 360

Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

after ive done something, or experienced something. when i think back on the days events, i think to myself. "i think ive done that before somewere". i must have a boring existance. its always de ja vu with me.

If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.