Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

Having a dream where I am in a sex Ed class and instead of looking at slides experiencing everything firsthand

When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

put my headphones in but don't listen to any music so people don't bother me.

Say you're not hungry at a friend's house when his/her parents offer you food, even though you're starving

When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

Think I'm going to fall down when I step onto an esculator that's not moving.

When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.

when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.