I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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Poking your eye to see the black circle at the corner of your eye

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When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

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whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

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When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

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when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

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Throw mini celabration of clock says 11:11, 9:11 or anything ending in :00

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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I lock the bathroom door even when I'm home alone.

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Having a dream where I am in a sex Ed class and instead of looking at slides experiencing everything firsthand

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When I turn the volume up or Down it has to be a number with 0 or 5 in

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

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always picture someone naked even though sometime you really don't want to.

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Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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im going to rape that girl

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Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.