When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

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Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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Think I'm going to fall down when I step onto an esculator that's not moving.

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I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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My hands are always so cold and clamy at school, when I go on dates, and when im with friends. But, of course, when im at home, they.are.normal. :l

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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im going to rape that girl

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

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I type things i really want to say to people and then delete them straight away because im too chicken to say it.

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.