you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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Dancing while hoovering

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Clenching my fists, imagining I have wolverine claws coming out of my knuckles

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I wonder if things are there because I see it and if I was not there to see it would it disappear?

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Yelling my cats name in my mind to see if i can get him to look at me using the power of my mind

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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Go back to the song if I don't here what they sang Kay

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

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I know how to type a ¿

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conundrum.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.