sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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That microscopic flying things that follows my eyes' motion, especially when i look up in the sky.

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

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Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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when im in a public toilet and my freinds outside i make loud converstation with them so they cant hear me pee.

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Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

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Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

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Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

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Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

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Type in 'things you thought only you did' and find this site. Then smile stupidly and click thumbs up everytime you read something you thought only you did.

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My goal is to get as much as possible thumbs down at this post.

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.