I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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shag your mom

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Find different ways to crack your knuckles when you're bored. (I have found 7 ways to crack a finger and I can crackj my hand back

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Close my eyes and squeeze them so I can see colorful stars and galaxies.

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in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

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I really like taking shits.

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.