If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

Having an OCD moment when the number of questions on a test is not a multiple of 5. I mean, who puts 47 questions on a test?! Or 53? English and Math teachers rarely do this but it's always the Histoy ones...

use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.