I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

Thinking about how fast you blink and how many times you have blinked. You then start blinking too much because you are thinling about yourself blinking, and you try to stop, but you can't stop thinking about it.

I like to poo while smoking.

Get so angry you hit a table, wall etc but hit it so hard you feel as though you've broken you fingers and this just makes you even angrier.

I walk down the stairs sideways because I'm afraid something will get me.

I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.