I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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Hate Skydoesminecraft.

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That microscopic flying things that follows my eyes' motion, especially when i look up in the sky.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

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Find different ways to crack your knuckles when you're bored. (I have found 7 ways to crack a finger and I can crackj my hand back

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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You keep going through pages of "Things You Think Only You Do" clicking the button until you realize that your on like page 50.

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When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

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When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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kick something under the fridge that you dont want to pick up

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.