When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.

When i wake up from a good dream, i close my eyes and imagine the ending in different ways.

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

Drinking and dialing people I dated.

See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

I walk down the stairs sideways because I'm afraid something will get me.

I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.