Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

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When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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I walk down the stairs sideways because I'm afraid something will get me.

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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Drinking and dialing people I dated.

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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I pee in the water of the toilet to make bubbles

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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take 30 pictures and only find 1 where you dont look like shit

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I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

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Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

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I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

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Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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Turn on the faucet and/or fan when using the toilet at someone else's house or at my own place when there is a visitor because I don't want them to hear me peeing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.