Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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I really like taking shits.

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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I pee in the water of the toilet to make bubbles

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAP FAP ::TROLLFACE::

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kick something under the fridge that you dont want to pick up

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Go outside and pee.

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.