Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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shag your mom

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Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

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in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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When you are doing something (kind of weird) when you're alone and then stop because there might be a ghost watching.

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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I Repeat my coincidental happenings..and say please don't do(x5)..

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I really like taking shits.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.