Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.