Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAP FAP ::TROLLFACE::

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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kick something under the fridge that you dont want to pick up

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

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I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.