When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

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act like people from movies or shows just because my life is that boring

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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Go back to the song if I don't here what they sang Kay

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.