Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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Fart at home

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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When you're in your late teens, you blare the car stereo when driving near girls that are walking. When you grow up, you turn the radio down in fear that you look like a tool bag.

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Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

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Go outside and pee.

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stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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When you are doing something (kind of weird) when you're alone and then stop because there might be a ghost watching.

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.