- Things You Think Only You Do

I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

I really like taking shits.

When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

Eat or drink something tpretending it's some sort of fuel that'll give you powers.

Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

Go back to the song if I don't here what they sang Kay

Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

When I'm scared in the shower sing

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.