get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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Always look down at the floor or avoiding any kind of eye contact when your getting told off for something really bad

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.