I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I ejaculate fire and glory

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -39

popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -87

during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

shag your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -90

When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

thumb_up thumb_down -126

Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

thumb_up thumb_down -63

being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.