use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Having an OCD moment when the number of questions on a test is not a multiple of 5. I mean, who puts 47 questions on a test?! Or 53? English and Math teachers rarely do this but it's always the Histoy ones...

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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shag your mom

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.