when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

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take 30 pictures and only find 1 where you dont look like shit

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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act like people from movies or shows just because my life is that boring

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.