avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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shag your mom

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.