I ejaculate fire and glory

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Having an OCD moment when the number of questions on a test is not a multiple of 5. I mean, who puts 47 questions on a test?! Or 53? English and Math teachers rarely do this but it's always the Histoy ones...

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Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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When you are doing something (kind of weird) when you're alone and then stop because there might be a ghost watching.

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Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.