Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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shag your mom

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Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.