I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

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popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.