- Things You Think Only You Do

I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.