Every room I go into I imagine like there's one of those DVD screen savers that bounces off the walls and i try to guess when it will hist a corner perfectly

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

thumb_up thumb_down -49

i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Get worried i'll sleeptalk about the things I'm thinking about and someone will hear, so stop thinking about my deep and personal thoughts i think about before going to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I sometimes wonder what my past self would do differently if it knew what would be going on now

thumb_up thumb_down -22

wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Whenever I'm doing my makeup I pretend I'm doing a makeup tutorial on Youtube.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Think of numbers as male or female.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.