Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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i make loud noises so before i fart people cant hear it.

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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While washing your hair in the shower, having the weird fear of opening your eyes to see something staring at you.

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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When out I like to "people watch."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.