Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

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being super bored at school

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.