if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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jack off

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

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Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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Afraid to do something your crush is doing so they don't think you're stalking them, even though you really want to. -B

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I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.