Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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I always cry when I pray.

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.