Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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Afraid to do something your crush is doing so they don't think you're stalking them, even though you really want to. -B

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Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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I always cry when I pray.

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.