- Things You Think Only You Do

I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

I always cry when I pray.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.