Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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Not answer a question or something of the sort Evan if you know you know the answer because you are paranoid that you are wrong.

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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Wait until there is nobody in the bathroom and then fart really really loud. Also I flip my pillow every 10 minutes so my head is on the cold side. (try it some time)

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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Whenever I'm doing my makeup I pretend I'm doing a makeup tutorial on Youtube.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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In school look at the wall or something and feel like only a few seconds has gone by but really thirty minutes has

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.