put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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smoke marijuana

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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In school look at the wall or something and feel like only a few seconds has gone by but really thirty minutes has

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sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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While washing your hair in the shower, having the weird fear of opening your eyes to see something staring at you.

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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I always cry when I pray.

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Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.