When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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jack off

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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Okay so probably like everyone else, when Schapelle Corby was found with drugs on her in bali I thought she was innocent but now since she was let out of the prison I am wondering if she did do it?

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Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.