Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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Think that some of the posts here are pretty damn normal and how that means I am much weirder than I thought I was

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.