I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In school look at the wall or something and feel like only a few seconds has gone by but really thirty minutes has

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -49

smoke marijuana

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

thumb_up thumb_down -109

At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

thumb_up thumb_down +36

When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

thumb_up thumb_down +12

After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

thumb_up thumb_down -108

I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

thumb_up thumb_down -77

When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

thumb_up thumb_down +36

say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.