Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

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I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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Fart at home

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sit in the shower

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.