Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

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when liking something you like or dislike something you click it twice even though you know it will only take one vote

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Get worried i'll sleeptalk about the things I'm thinking about and someone will hear, so stop thinking about my deep and personal thoughts i think about before going to bed.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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KICK THE CAN

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.