When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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log off the internet then think of something and go back on

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Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.