Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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Okay so probably like everyone else, when Schapelle Corby was found with drugs on her in bali I thought she was innocent but now since she was let out of the prison I am wondering if she did do it?

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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I always cry when I pray.

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

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Pee in the shower.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Fart at home

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sit in the shower

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.