When out I like to "people watch."

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Think of numbers as male or female.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

thumb_up thumb_down -26

After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

thumb_up thumb_down -74

I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

being super bored at school

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I laugh easier when im with someone

thumb_up thumb_down -52

When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.