when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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Think that some of the posts here are pretty damn normal and how that means I am much weirder than I thought I was

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okay,So we bought a 1000 piece puzzle and made a point to put it together when it was done we found that it was missing a piece so we went back to the same store bought the same puzzle and went through it until we found the missing piece then returned it.

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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Fart at home

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.