- Things You Think Only You Do

When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.

When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

Music is ALWAYS playing in my head. I can't go a day without noticing that the whole time a song is just burned in my brain, playing over and over. Is this okay? Im pretty sure im the only one...

Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.