wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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Wait until there is nobody in the bathroom and then fart really really loud. Also I flip my pillow every 10 minutes so my head is on the cold side. (try it some time)

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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I start doing some of the weird things I wouldn't have thought of doing if I hadn't I read them on this website.

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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I bought a ps4 and really regret it.

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.