When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.