When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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KICK THE CAN

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I always cry when I pray.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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sit in the shower

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.