Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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jack off

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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smoke marijuana

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Okay so probably like everyone else, when Schapelle Corby was found with drugs on her in bali I thought she was innocent but now since she was let out of the prison I am wondering if she did do it?

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I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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Read through all these posts and get all excited when you see things that you thought only you did

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When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.