I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

thumb_up thumb_down -30

After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

thumb_up thumb_down -116

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

thumb_up thumb_down -144

log off the internet then think of something and go back on

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

thumb_up thumb_down +49

When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Music is ALWAYS playing in my head. I can't go a day without noticing that the whole time a song is just burned in my brain, playing over and over. Is this okay? Im pretty sure im the only one...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -56

When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.