smoke marijuana

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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I always cry when I pray.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

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Okay so probably like everyone else, when Schapelle Corby was found with drugs on her in bali I thought she was innocent but now since she was let out of the prison I am wondering if she did do it?

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.