I bought a ps4 and really regret it.

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Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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Say what even when u heard someone

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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I always cry when I pray.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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In school look at the wall or something and feel like only a few seconds has gone by but really thirty minutes has

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.