I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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I always cry when I pray.

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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smoke marijuana

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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Music is ALWAYS playing in my head. I can't go a day without noticing that the whole time a song is just burned in my brain, playing over and over. Is this okay? Im pretty sure im the only one...

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

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sit in the shower

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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Hate using public bathrooms because everyone can hear you pee.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.