I always cry when I pray.

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I put big spaces in between comments

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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sit in the shower

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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Spinning around to get dizzy, then spinning the other way to try and undo it.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.