- Things You Think Only You Do

When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.