Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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I always wonder if anyone has a crush on me.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

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Scared to flush the tolite at friends houses in fear that i will wake someone up of break the tolite.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.