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Car Failures
Pointless Inventions
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Quoted Coworkers
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masturbate quietly in my room.
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-73
if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.
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-79
when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.
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-79
I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.
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-95
i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?
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+80
Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.
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+36
Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site
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+30
Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.
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+10
Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.
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-4
when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.
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-20
I put big spaces in between comments
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-22
Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <
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-44
wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?
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-110
in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge
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-130
Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!
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+21
outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!
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-3
I make a conversation with myself when looking at mirrors !
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-23
I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman
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-41
dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds
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-95
I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka
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-113
Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..
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-123
Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.
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+36
Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.
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+22
Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.
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+22
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.