When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

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I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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Read through all these posts and get all excited when you see things that you thought only you did

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I put big spaces in between comments

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Hate using public bathrooms because everyone can hear you pee.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

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Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.