in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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Read through all these posts and get all excited when you see things that you thought only you did

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I put big spaces in between comments

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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okay,So we bought a 1000 piece puzzle and made a point to put it together when it was done we found that it was missing a piece so we went back to the same store bought the same puzzle and went through it until we found the missing piece then returned it.

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choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.