Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -3

put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I always think I have special powers

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

thumb_up thumb_down -33

After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

thumb_up thumb_down -153

I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Wondering who would cry at your funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +4

outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

thumb_up thumb_down -56

go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

thumb_up thumb_down +31

When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.