when your walking past a chain link fence you slide your fingers along it because it feels cool

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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I've had a problem all my life with people thinking I'm a boy, (I'm a girl) so when I first meet someone, my instinct is to find some reason, (however stupid) to say that I'm a girl, (EX: "Can you believe that people actually think I'm a boy?" like when I just meet them).

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Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

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Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.