When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

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Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

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watch cartoons even though most of my friends don't

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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feed a gecko worms every day, not the good worms though...

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When a song comes on that i hate on the radio, i sing along with it because i know the lyrics. (Example: something by Justtin bieber D:)

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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If some makes you mad you do things alot better than you would if you were not mad

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.