I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.