Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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If some makes you mad you do things alot better than you would if you were not mad

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

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Having that feeling of entering the wrong classroom or bus, even though you know it is the right one.

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Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.