After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

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Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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I like to burn candles in my room and some times I burn the hair on my arm and smell it afterwards

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.