get home from work and masturbate instantly

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

thumb_up thumb_down -81

wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

thumb_up thumb_down -121

When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I praise the honesty of you all! :) I think confessing here is kind of fun...am I alone?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

thumb_up thumb_down -84

I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

thumb_up thumb_down +65

When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

thumb_up thumb_down -47

the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.