Cope with serious things by not taking them seriously.

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

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I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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I praise the honesty of you all! :) I think confessing here is kind of fun...am I alone?

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.