get home from work and masturbate instantly

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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Enjoy picking off scabs, thick skin around your nails, your nails, or the thick peeling skin left from a blister. Admit it, you love it.

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I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I put big spaces in between comments

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.