get home from work and masturbate instantly

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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log off the internet then think of something and go back on

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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Enjoy picking off scabs, thick skin around your nails, your nails, or the thick peeling skin left from a blister. Admit it, you love it.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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I praise the honesty of you all! :) I think confessing here is kind of fun...am I alone?

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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hate Justin Bieber

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.