Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

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I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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Daydream about doing unspeakable things(killing, raping, beating, cutting, shooting, ect.) to the person you hate

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

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When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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Giving my dog a massage.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.