Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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Okay, so. I have this weird habit I've had for like a year now, and it's that I always have to touch things an even amount of times and touch them with the other had the same amount of times. I read it's OCD, which I sometimes experience symptoms of, but this one sticks out. Is this normal? What should I do? Should I ask if I do have OCD?

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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When I have nothing do do in Life Science I read the textbook.

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

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Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.