get home from work and masturbate instantly

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I eat ass

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

thumb_up thumb_down -20

get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

i pretend to have the ability of telekinesis and move things around my house , garden, playground...

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When I wait for something to load, I right click and then quickly try to drag a box around the right click box before it disappears. Then I try to right click and drag and see if I can outline the right click box before it appears.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

I eat one way in public and another way in private.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.