ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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When a song comes on that i hate on the radio, i sing along with it because i know the lyrics. (Example: something by Justtin bieber D:)

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I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

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Giving my dog a massage.

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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Having that feeling of entering the wrong classroom or bus, even though you know it is the right one.

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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Your mom

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.