Giving my dog a massage.

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.