join online argument even though you have no idea what the argument is about

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I want to suck on your penis

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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I like to sleep on the floor; my my cushion is too soft.

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Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Giving my dog a massage.

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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when I'm walking i always try to step over the cracks with the same foot every time

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I aphabeticalize my shoes

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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KICK THE CAN

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Start to do homework online, end up on facebook :/

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When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

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Your mom

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.