Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

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Made after doomsday plans

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.