Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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For some reason I really love to be hated on horsehead network, no idea why, stopped questioning it moments ago... Moral: Know what I mean?

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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Cry every day just because it makes you feel better.

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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Attempting to start phychic conversations with people in public

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.