when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

thumb_up thumb_down -88

I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Wondering who would cry at your funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +11

go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Read through all these posts and get all excited when you see things that you thought only you did

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Attempting to start phychic conversations with people in public

thumb_up thumb_down -69

When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

thumb_up thumb_down -141

Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I sometimes feel like I am the only one like me in this world

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.