When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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Cry every day just because it makes you feel better.

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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For some reason I really love to be hated on horsehead network, no idea why, stopped questioning it moments ago... Moral: Know what I mean?

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.