Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

thumb_up thumb_down -53

imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -75

try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

thumb_up thumb_down -99

I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -121

whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

thumb_up thumb_down +22

put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.