whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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Go to websites like this during school and laugh at the things I read. All around me other students are actually working and looking at me.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

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Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

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Read through all these posts and get all excited when you see things that you thought only you did

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Attempting to start phychic conversations with people in public

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

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I sometimes feel like I am the only one like me in this world

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.