Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

thumb_up thumb_down -30

when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

thumb_up thumb_down -54

hate Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -102

When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

thumb_up thumb_down -79

When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

thumb_up thumb_down -133

whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

thumb_up thumb_down +24

imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

setting your alarm early so that when you wake up you see you still have time to sleep and you're like YES!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I tuck all sides of the blanket under my body and feet then over my head and leave a fresh air hole so im in a cocoon of blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

thumb_up thumb_down -44

sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

thumb_up thumb_down -84

turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.