Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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When a song comes on that i hate on the radio, i sing along with it because i know the lyrics. (Example: something by Justtin bieber D:)

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Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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Cope with serious things by not taking them seriously.

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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I sit in a chair upside down and pretend like i'm walking on the ceiling.

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.