Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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I praise the honesty of you all! :) I think confessing here is kind of fun...am I alone?

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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For some reason I really love to be hated on horsehead network, no idea why, stopped questioning it moments ago... Moral: Know what I mean?

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.