imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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Read through all these posts and get all excited when you see things that you thought only you did

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Scared to flush the tolite at friends houses in fear that i will wake someone up of break the tolite.

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.