Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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Okay, so. I have this weird habit I've had for like a year now, and it's that I always have to touch things an even amount of times and touch them with the other had the same amount of times. I read it's OCD, which I sometimes experience symptoms of, but this one sticks out. Is this normal? What should I do? Should I ask if I do have OCD?

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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Looking up 'How to tell if your crush likes you' to get assurance that he/she loves you

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

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Enjoy picking off scabs, thick skin around your nails, your nails, or the thick peeling skin left from a blister. Admit it, you love it.

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.