Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Take baths

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Giving my dog a massage.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.