Giving my dog a massage.

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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Try to flip the dice at the casino to my number with my mind

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.