if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

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Feel like you're the only one pressured into giving gum away by your friends.

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When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

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When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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Take baths

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.