if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

I eat one way in public and another way in private.

Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

Giving my dog a massage.

Take baths

When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.